A Saint's Journey,
to His Garden

Did I Choose “wrong” or Right?

I just finished 1 Nephi 1:20 and thought about the contrast of, “they were angry with him” and “they also sought his life”. This isn’t the only example of this, as Alma was kicked out and the people he taught “reviled him, and spit upon him, and caused that he should be cast out of their city” (Alma 8:13-14).

In decision theory, there’s the concept of Outcome Bias (or Resulting Bias), which “is the tendency to evaluate a decision based on how it turned out rather than on the quality of the decision process, given the limited information available at the time.” There’s a powerful quote here:

When a bet pays off, we call it smart. When it fails, we call it foolish, even if the reasoning and evidence were identical. The fact is, many outcomes are driven by luck, noise, and hidden variables. (source)

In the Place Which the Lord Shall Choose

Deuteronomy was focused on a lot of laws, but in searching the word “choose” in the scriptures, I came across this phrase, “in the place which the Lord shall choose” (Deuteronomy 16:2,7,11,15).

By contrast, the Doctrine and Covenants has a lot of unique usages of “it mattereth not” in places where it seems pretty important:

Wherefore, go ye and preach my gospel, whether to the north or to the south, to the east or to the west, it mattereth not, for ye cannot go amiss. Doctrine and Covenants 80:3

And

And it mattereth not unto me, after a little, if it so be that they fill their mission, whether they go by water or by land; let this be as it is made known unto them according to their judgments hereafter. Doctrine and Covenants 61:22

I would think that where you go to preach the gospel is quite important. “Am I in the right place?”. These two scriptures could over-generalize a point - there are many, many examples where the Lord gives specific instructions to folks. (But then there’s like this ¹.)

But when you think more closely, you learn to see that the Lord is more interested in building us, his people, than necessarily what results we get. He sent his apostles to be slain and stoned. It wasn’t about converting the world. It was about building converts one by one.

The One Result

I think the best framing to have is Ether 15:24,

“Whether the Lord will that I be translated, or that I suffer the will of the Lord in the flesh, it mattereth not, if it so be that I am saved in the kingdom of God. Amen”.

What if we could have that influence in our lives always? If we truly thought, “it mattereth not [what we go through] so long as the Lord allows me to cross the finish line”.

That is the one result that matters.

Mattereth Not

So did you make the right choice? Did you do it right?

If they have not charity it mattereth not unto thee, thou hast been faithful; (Ether 12:27)

It doesn’t matter what the result is. Be faithful. Follow God.

Choose God

The refrain constantly in the Book of Mormon is this:

And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, (2 Nephi 2:27)

be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, (2 Nephi 2:28)

Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life. ([2 Nephi 10: 23](ref/scriptures/2-ne-10. 23.md))

In the first place being left to choose good or evil; therefore they having chosen good, and exercising exceedingly great faith, are called with a holy calling (Alma 13:3)

He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; (Helaman 14:31)

And ultimately:

For thus saith the scripture: Choose ye this day, whom ye will serve. Alma 30:8

So choose good. Choose to preach the Gospel. Choose to follow God.

Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. Mosiah 4:9

And if we do this, if we choose Him, the results will follow. Not outside. That’s not a given. Noah preached to no avail. Abraham tried saving a city only to leave with Lot (and not the pillar of salt). We can’t even change those closest to us. But we can control and choose for ourselves the way and the Life.

May we all choose God. May we choose to receive His life and light. May we choose to do His will, no matter how difficult, and no matter the cost. And the cost 99.999% of the time will be in the small and simple things (not in choosing to go into a city of people who want to stone us). The cost will be the sacrifice of our will vs. a Holy choice.

Conclusion

I’ve taken away a lot from this. I’ve been thinking a lot about my own agency lately, and what it means. Maybe I’m stuck in “should I buy a boat or make one?” when the Lord would rather I just get to the place I’m intended to be.

And that place is the place of being in the good standing of the Holy Ghost, where the tender mercies of the Lord are over me.

Footnotes

1. “But, verily, I will speak unto you concerning your journey unto the land from whence you came. Let there be a craft made, or bought, as seemeth you good, it mattereth not unto me, and take your journey speedily for the place which is called St. Louis. Doctrine and Covenants 60:5” Just like a totally wild, “Go build a boat (craft), or buy one, whatever you want”. Just get there as quickly as possible. I just love the open-endedness - the details don’t matter. Let’s get to the point. There’s a similar phrase in Doctrine and Covenants 62:5. ↩

The Law of Moses

The Law of Moses had 613 commandments. It was a full law. Property rights. Judgments. Consequences. Jesus Christ provided the Israelites civilization.

How often do we create for ourselves 613 rules? The Lord’s way was to judge by intention (Doctrine and Covenants 6:16), and he looked upon the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). In D&C, we see that “the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind” ( Doctrine and Covenants 64:34).

Principles of the Lord’s Judgment

Then there’s desire:

“I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts.” (Doctrine and Covenants 137:9)

The Lord also mentions “thoughts and intents of the heart” (Doctrine and Covenants 33:1), implying the heart has thoughts + intents. Furthermore, “And then shall the second angel sound his trump, and reveal the secret acts of men, and the thoughts and intents of their hearts, and the mighty works of God in the second thousand years—” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:109). Mosiah says, “For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?” (Mosiah 5:13).

“And by their desires and their works you shall know them.” (Doctrine and Covenants 18:38).

“if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish.” (Mosiah 4:30).

Solomon was judged:

“And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.” (1 Chronicles 28:9)

The heart and a willing mind:

Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days. (Doctrine and Covenants 64:34)

Do we reach out to the Lord while the arms of mercy are extended?

“Having gone according to their own carnal wills and desires; having never called upon the Lord while the arms of mercy were extended towards them; for the arms of mercy were extended towards them, and they would not;” (Mosiah 16:12)

• The arms of mercy are extended. The Lord wants us to reach out and ask for help.

How We’re not Judged

• By first/second/third successes: “And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.” (1 Nephi 4:6).
• Whether our message is received (Alma 8:13-14). Alma was spat on, rejected.
• Our emotions (Alma was depressed)

What Do We Focus On?

Perhaps this leads to a hierarchy?

In all of this, love God:

1. Heart
   1. Desire of our Heart
   2. Thoughts of our heart
   3. Intention of our heart
2. Actions
   1. Words (Mosiah 4:30)
   2. Acts/Deeds ((Mosiah 4:30, Doctrine and Covenants 137:9)
3. Stewardship/Callings
   1. Care for Others: Love others as ourselves
   2. Health: treat our body as temple
   3. Wealth: try our best to do what we can with His resources

Conclusion

This study has been productive - the Lord does not judge based on outcomes, external things.

In all of this, we turn to the Savior.

• Did he take good action?
• Was he rejected?
• Did people believe him? (outcome?) - some did, others didn’t

In my day, the question is - where is my heart?

Every calling, whatever it may be, is “His business” when embraced with a humble and willing heart and a desire to lift and comfort His children and share His good news. We are not merely filling an assignment when we respond to an inspired call but joining the Saviour of the world in His infinite, redeeming work. He needs you, and He needs me. Life is better—everything is better—when we are about His business. (Kearon, 2026).

Are my desires (what I want/hope/feel) pure? Are they aligned with the work? Are my intentions (what I intent to do to accomplish those desires) pure? Are my thoughts/word/deed aligned with God?

At times, I’d like to be given the chance to follow a strict set of laws. It must have been so simple. Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth (Exodus 21:24).

But perhaps people thosuands of years from now will look at my day and wonder, “man, all they had to do was love their neighbor…go minister. visit people and spend some time with them.” I’ve always known we’re now living the “higher” law. Perhaps it’s truly inverted - the world no longer has the social bonds it once had. It no longer has the familial requirements. Mostly no longer has oxen.

What’s the point of this law? (The 10 commandments and the Book of the Covenant are the beginning of the law.)

• 2 Nephi 25:24-25 - “wherefore the law hath become dead unto us, and we are made alive in Christ because of our faith;”
• Jarom 1:11 - “teaching the law of Moses, and the intent for which it was given; persuading them to look forward unto the Messiah, and believe in him to come as though he already was”
• Alma 25:15 - “But notwithstanding the law of Moses, they did look forward to the coming of Christ, considering that the law of Moses was a type of his coming,”
• Mosiah 13:27-31 “salvation doth not come by the law alone; and were it not for the atonement, which God himself shall make for the sins and iniquities of his people, that they must unavoidably perish, notwithstanding the law of Moses.”

The point of the law was to have no other gods, or in other words, to have One God. To look forward to the coming of the Messiah.

Conclusion

The archaic law, despite being “eye for eye” was “fair”. It’s the definition of fair - he hit me, so I should be able to hit him. This is the law our children want to live. Equal. You get some, i get some. You get a cake, I get a cake.

But the Lord wanted them to see the unfairness and the lack of mercy in all of it. Some people relish in “fair”. But Christ wanted them to see that it really wasn’t actually fair at all. Or, there was no progress in the law. It was a zero-sum game.

By coming Himself into the earth, and taking all of our wounds and stripes (Exodus 21:25) upon himself (Isaiah 53:5), he created…progress.

Perhaps we were given the strict law first, to satisfy our natural man desires for “fair”. And he created carve-outs for every little thing (here’s what you do if some guy makes a pothole for your ox…here’s what you do if you…). Then he fulfilled those carve outs and said, “It’s time to love one another.” And he took away the details. He created Zion - a place where people don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t nit-pick the oxen gorings, and where they love each other and forgive each other’s debts. He created the 7th year.

Reflections

You’d think that seeing Christ appear to you and many other around you might anchor you.

Perhaps after so many dozens of potent miracles (plus many small-and-simple ones to be sure), that Aaron wouldn’t fall to building a golden calf. What can be learned from this?

1. The Lord isn’t here to condemn us. When he says he’ll destroy the Israelites (Exodus 32:10). Moses petitions on their behalf and the Lord receives his petition. The Lord will not destroy them.
2. You can see the Lord and not be converted. I used to think this was an objective - to see the Lord physically. I prayed for this on my mission. But this is not the way of conversion. The prayer should be to be converted unto the Lord. To spiritually see Him. Remember Laman and Lemuel, who wondered, “How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands?” even after they had just seen an angel who told them, “Behold ye shall go up to Jerusalem again, and the Lord will deliver Laban into your hands.” (1 Nephi 3:28-31).

We Make Our Own Idols

I think it’s very reasonable to say that while at Church, or while with my own children, my own mind can wander to material things. I can dream of getting more money from work. Or having a better opportunity. I can dream of having more, even in the midst of having everything that truly matters. I could be taking the sacrament and thinking, “Man, I wish I could figure out a way to build an app…”

This is exactly what Aaron did. He saw the Lord. Yet he was somehow not there. Perhaps he was there, but quickly forgot. Or, he quickly turned his attention away to wanting to give the people what they want. To solving their problems.

Perhaps Aaron gave up trying to convince them. He just wanted to fit in.

What about Laman and Lemuenl? Why did they have such hard hearts? Aaron wasn’t like that - he was helping Moses in all 10 plagues, and many other times before/after that. He saw it all. I’m guessing he was just a dud.

And we’re all duds. We see with our eyes. We lose focus of our hearts.

When I pray, if I truly believed I was speaking to God, I think I’d approach it differently. Most of the time, I pray because I know I should. But a 10s prayer where you truly know in your mind that you’re communicating with an Omnipotent Being who loves you and is eagerly trying to redeem you is far more valuable than a 3 minute prayer where you say the lip service you’ve practice forever.

So say the 10s prayer. Mean it. Truly connect with God and Heaven. And try not to make Golden Calfs throughout the day thereafter.

Notes

Exodus 19

Exodus 20

Exodus 20:3-17 The Ten commandments

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me
2. Thou shalt not make any graven image
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
4. Remeber the sabbath day to keep it holy
5. Honor thy father and thy mother
6. thou shalt not kill
7. thou shalt not commit adultery
8. thou shalt not steal
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour
10. Thou shalt not covet

Exodus 21

Book of the covenant

• Really interesting - rules on goring of the ox vs. pushing - the Lord was hyper specific about the rules here. Nothing left to the imagination. even a rule for if the ox falls down a hole someone else dug

Exodus 22

Book of the covenant

• Punitive damages - 5x for stolen ox. (US govt only does 3x!)
• Exodus 22:16 - it wasn’t against the law to sleep with someone you weren’t married to - you just promise to marry her. But the father could refuse (perhaps this is where asking for permission comes from?) → i find this interesitng because adultery was just mentioned before. And the Lord would teach “whoever looketh upon a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery in his heart”.
• Exodus 22:25 Don’t rob the poor. don’t put high tax burdens on them.

Exodus 23

Book of the covenant:

• Exodus 23:12 - rest up on the 7th day. Get refreshed. We need a day to relax and recover. “12 Six days thou shalt do thy work, and on the seventh day thou shalt rest: that thine ox and thine ass may rest, and the son of thy handmaid, and the stranger, may be refreshed.”

Exodus 24

Exodus 24:7 → The book of the covenant. What is this book?

• Exodus 20:22 through Exodus 23:33

Exodus 24:9-11 Aaron + others see the Lord.

10 And they saw the God of Israel: and there was under his feet as it were a paved work of a sapphire stone, and as it were the body of heaven in his clearness.

• Similar to Doctrine and Covenants 110:2 “the Lord standing upon the breastwork of the pulpit, before us; and under his feet was a paved work of pure gold, in color like amber.”

• It was their endowment ()
• The next few chapters (28-30) are about the anointing, washing of Aaron, etc.

Nephi has a similar endowment in 1 Nephi 11:1. He’s caught away into the mountain. And again in 1 Nephi 17:7-9. Mountains - the mountain of the Lord. Height. Elevate.

Exodus 31

Exodus 32

Exodus 32:1-6 Aaron leads the golden calf

• He had just seen the Lord in 24. Quite literally saw the God of Israel. And moments later he’s building the same altar that Msoes made (Exodus 24:5) and “he built an altar before it” (Ex 32.5)
• This is against what was just given - Exodus 20:23 - the Lord just told them “neither shall ye make unto you gods of gold.”

Exodus 32:12-14 - “Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth?”

• Moses wondered “did you bring us here to die?” I like how Moses Challenges the Lord with faith. This type of question, it deserves a name. “Did you bring us here to die?”
• I think I can question the Lord more effectively. Not for the Lord’s sake, as I doubt Moses changed His mind in any way shape or form. But for Moses’ sake, he was able to reason: “it doen’st make sense you’d do this for us…just to smite us here in the middle of nowhere”

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Thinking about this - maybe there’s temptation to think that anything we make by our hands is “incredible” - how often do I build an app and think “man this is wonderful” but in reality it’s…just some code.

Exodus 33

Exodus 34